the kind of news story this site was made for!
Man Exposes Penis, Attacks Woman With a Dead Seagull Tries to Swim Away From Police
A 31 year old woman was walking her dog near the Öjendorfer Sea Tuesday morning. Out of nowhere, a 41 year old man appears and begins to insult the woman and her two companions. The man also kicked her dog, reports the “Bild” newspaper.
At this point the irate man grabs a dead seagull from the ground and starts beating the 31-year-old woman with it.
It Gets Even Weirder
The police, who have been alerted in the meantime, show up as the man is hitting the woman with the dead seagull. After seeing the police the man makes his escape into the lake, in an ill-fated attempt to evade police.
The police, not to be outdone, commandeer a boat and give chase. The man was eventually arrested in the middle of the lake. The details are unclear exactly how it was used, but according to the police statement, a helicopter was also used in the arrest.