6 Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends

6 Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends

6 Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends!

6 Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends

There are many, many gods that you may not know about. Some of them are incredibly bizarre.

Here are 6 of the most bizarre gods from the ancient world with weird legends.

The Weird Legend of Loki

6 Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends

Loki isn’t exactly unusual, you probably know this Norse god from the Marvel Movies. But you don’t know Loki like this. Loki’s antics sure did get strange at times.

In one story, the gods told a certain giant he could marry the goddess Freyja if he built an impossibly large wall. To the gods’ surprise, the giant got close to succeeding, due to his giant stallion.

Not wanting to lose Freyja, the gods told Loki to stop the giant. Later, they probably wished they’d given Loki more specific instructions.

That’s because Loki, an adept shape shifter, decided to turn himself into a mare. He then lured the giant’s stallion away and…

Uh, let’s just say that’s how Loki, a male god, ended up giving birth to the eight-legged horse Sleipnir.

I did say these would be bizarre!

Bizarre God – Mutunus Tutunus

Bizarre God - Mutunus Tutunus

Mutunus Tutunus was a minor Roman deity of marriage and he happened to be shaped like a giant penis.

In the days of the Roman Empire, there was a significant shrine to this god in Rome. During the Roman marriage ceremony, brides were supposedly taken to the temple before being married off.

At Mutunus Tutunus’ sanctuary, they would then straddle a stone image of the god. Before marriage, Roman women would take a ride on a god shaped like a penis.

The ceremony, as far as we’re aware, was supposed to somehow teach the young brides to not be embarrassed about sex. We suppose after you’ve crawled over the biggest penis of them all, normal sex kind of loses its mystique.

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A Bizarre God with a weird legend is Matshishkapeu

A Bizarre God with a weird legend is Matshishkapeu

According to the ancient legends of the Native American Innu people — living in Quebec and Labrador — spirits regularly talk to people. How exactly they choose to communicate depends on the spirit or deity itself.

Matshishkapeu has a particularly creative way to speak to his adherents. How does he do it, you ask? Well, he’s also known as the Fart Man.

Matshishkapeu declares his will entirely through people’s flatulence. And when he speaks, you will listen.

That’s because Matshishkapeu is — despite his humorous nature — an extremely important figure in Innu mythology. He’s one of the most powerful of all spirits and has the ability to control both animal and human behavior.

So, after you’re done chuckling after ripping a particularly loud one, you better quickly go carry out the god’s will.

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The Dumb God Koalemos

The Dumb God Koalemos

We know very little about the mythical Greek figure of Koalemos. It’s not entirely clear if he was a full-fledged deity or just a spirit entity, otherwise known as a daimon.

But what we do know about this bizarre god is, he was dumb. How dumb? He was the personification of stupidity and foolishness.

Even his name highlights how stupid Koalemos is. One theory posits his name derives from the words koeo and eleos, translating roughly to “to hear foolishness.”

In other words, his name is “dumbass.” Unfortunately, we don’t know what exactly Koalemos did when his name was invoked, but we bet it was something stupid.

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Bizarre Goddess Cardea

Bizarre Goddess Cardea

Cardea doesn’t really have any weird legends about her. Instead, her weirdness comes from her hyper-specific bizarre domain — she was the goddess of hinges.

You know, like those on your door or any box with an attached lid. She ended up with the job after turning down the advances of the god Janus, who then — being the outstanding gentleman he is — raped her.

After ravishing her, Janus declared that Cardea would be the god of hinges for all eternity. How petty can you get?

But despite her sad origins, Cardea serves a pretty significant purpose. Together with two other bizarre gods — Forculus, the god of doors, and Limentius, the god of thresholds — she opens the passage from the realm of the gods to the mortal world.

It’s an important job that hinged on Cardea.

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Bizarre God with an odd job – Xochipilli

Bizarre God with an odd job - Xochipilli

He looks scarier than you’d expect.
Xochipilli — from the Aztec mythology — had a lot on his plate. To begin with, he was the patron god of homosexuals and gay prostitutes.

But Xochipilli didn’t just rejoice with the boys. He was also the protector of writing, painting, dancing, singing, and the strategy game patolli.

His name translates to “the flower prince,” but it wasn’t just any kinds of flowers he safeguarded. Oh, no, Xochipilli was the god of psychoactive plants, like tobacco and magic mushrooms.

Based on all this, Xochipilli clearly just wanted to get high and have a good time with his bros.

Well, there you have 6 of the most bizarre gods with the weirdest legends.

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Bizarre Gods with Unusually Weird Legends